creating your guest list
It’s one of the most intimidating tasks of wedding planning, but it doesn’t have to be! Take a deep breath, pour a glass of wine, and follow these rules and building out your guest list will be a breeze.
Before you begin . . .
Your guest list should frankly be one of the first things you build when you get engaged. It can help determine your venue and your budget, so it’s important to have a sense of the number of people you plan to have there early on in the process.
start big.
It’s always easiest to start with the largest possible list and narrow down from there. Independently of your partner, create a list of everyone you picture at your wedding celebration. Then, have them do the same. Then, sit down together and add mutual friends, extended family, coworkers, anyone else you can think of. If family is pitching in financially, it’s always polite to ask them if there is anyone they would like to invite as well. Remember, this is a rough draft and it’s okay if the list seems way too long! It’s not your final list.
Tier your list.
I know, it sounds so cold and I hate the idea in theory, but it really is the best way to maximize your guest list. Take the master list you’ve created with your fiancé, and break it up into categories. I recommend at least an “A” and a “B” list. Your “A” list is the “Must Have,” the “I can’t picture my day without you there.” It will likely be family and your closest of friends. Your “B” list is everyone else. If needed, a “C” list can be obligatory invites, or people you think aren’t likely to attend. Then, when it’s time to send invites, only invite your “A” list, then as you get RSVPs back and have a better sense of your numbers, you can send invites to people on your “B” and “C” lists.
decide on plus ones.
This can be notoriously tricky. On one hand, every guest you invite is a dollar sign, and it can be hard to justify sending an invite to someone you might not know well. However, guests are spending money to attend your wedding and give you a gift, so there is something to be said to make sure they have a good time! The best way to tackle this is to make a set of rules, and treat it on a case by case basis. Pro tip: the common benchmark is the length of time the couple has been together or whether or not you know the plus one. I encourage my clients to also consider who else the guest might know there. If they don’t know a ton of other guests, it might be worth breaking your rule and allowing them a plus one.
don’t forget the kids!
This is another controversial point but regardless of what family or friends may say, whether or not you have children in attendance should be left to you and your significant other, and—similar to the plus-one decision—it should be kept consistent.
a FINAL TIP:
Creating and then limiting your guest list can be one of the toughest tasks on your list, especially if folks assume they’re invited or ask for an invite, as they’ve been known to do. I recommend having a response prepared. Something along the lines of “It’s great to hear from you, and we appreciate your well-wishes! Due to our venue capacity we have a small guest list. We really appreciate your understanding, and we should grab dinner soon to catch up!”
